Idle karma
by lyttleone
Summary: This story takes place 20 years after BD. Jacob's and Nessie's feeling for one another are changing, causing a rift between them and her parents. When forced to run away on their own, they run right into trouble. Who is it that wants Nessie? and why?
1. Chapter 1 The One With The Kiss

**A/N: Hello and welcome! I have decided to brave the world of fanfiction and write one of my very own. This is the first chapter (obviously), and also the first fanfiction I have ever written. I will admit I am a bit nervous about this, but I really hope you enjoy it!**

**Thank you to all my ladies over at [T20s] for introducing me to the world of fanfic and being a constant source of laughter and amusement. I heart you girls endlessly.  
**

**Also thanks to Sparksfly23 and Y_shud_i_choose923 for their never ending support, encouragement, and enthusiasm.**

**now on with the show...  
**

**Chapter 1 – The one with the kiss.**

"Hey Jacob, come on in" Bella greeted me, moving aside to allow me to duck through the door. I don't know why I even bothered to knock anymore. I was almost a part of the family now, since I had been following them around for the past 20 years. I never left Nessie's side. I couldn't, she was my entire world. There was nothing else besides her.

It had been interesting watching her grow up, while also dealing with the way my feelings for her were constantly changing. Never inappropriate, but growing with her I guess you could say. She amazed me every day. She grew so quick, and learned so much so fast, sometimes it was really difficult to keep track of how old she actually was. Even Edward and Bella had a hard time with it. She was an adult now, and more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen. Hell, she was probably more beautiful than any woman anywhere, even the ones I hadn't seen, and I loved her.

Bella snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Hey Jake, you there? Renesme is with Edward, she should be home soon though, come in the kitchen everyone is there." What did she mean they were all in the kitchen? That was odd. None of them ate, or drank for that matter, with the exception of me, and sometime Nessie if she had to. She liked keeping up the habit of eating human food so it wasn't so difficult for her in public. She hated the stuff, and even after 20 years found it hard not to make a face while she ate. It was all quite amusing actually, watching her try her best not to scrunch up her face, crinkling the bridge of her nose up to her eyebrows while jetting her bottom lip out so far, I though it might drop to the table. I laughed only once or twice, but had been caught, and never did it again. I hated making her upset. The weirdest part of all that was that, before Nessie, the thought of any one of the Cullens being grossed out by human food made my blood boil.

I followed Bella into the kitchen seeing Carlisle and Esme over by the far counter leaning over something I couldn't quite make out. While Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie all stood around the little island in the middle of the room, Rose of course standing by Emmett. Bella moved to stand in the opposite side, so I took the spot next to Jasper. "Well well, if it isn't wolf boy Black" Emmett said with a chuckle. "Jasper and I were just taking bets about how long it would be before you showed up." He elbowed Rosalie and she sneered at me. "Jasper I believe you owe me ten bucks." And his booming laughter filled the room. "Gee Jasper, really sorry" I began, eyeing Emmett at the same time. "Maybe next time you could have Alice call me ahead. Emmett could stand to lose a bet or two; his ego is getting bigger than his head." Jasper smirked but said nothing. Rose glared still. "Sorry babe but I'm taking Jasper's side on this one. If he would have won that means the dog would have stayed away longer." I huffed and was about to call her out on the latest blonde joke I had heard when Carlisle interjected. "Rose" he called over his shoulder, a warning in his tone, and that was all he said.

Believe it or not things between me and Rosalie had improved quite a bit over the years. Of course in the beginning we fought all the time over things that concerned Nessie, even against Bella and Edward's wishes. It wasn't until Nessie started to speak up for herself, and tell us that we needed to get along that we actually started to make an effort. Sure we were born to be sworn enemies, but we did have one thing in common: her. I'm sure without a doubt that Rosalie would lay down her life for her, as would I. So there it was; our unspoken bond. It kind of made it impossible for me to hate her as much as I had used to. The Cullens considered me family now, and aside from all the teasing, we got along pretty well. The teasing is something I was sure would never go away, Emmett even still teased Bella for Christ's sake. Some things would just never change.

Just then Alice came dancing into the room, practically leaping over Jasper to get to me, landing on me and throwing her arms around my neck. I scrunched my nose involuntarily. The smell was something I could never get used to. It figures the only Cullen with no regards to personal space would be the one to attach herself to me. "Uh, hey Alice" I half chuckled. Though I didn't appreciate the stink, I actually had come to care about her, as if she were my own sister. "Jacob!" she half cried, half sang. "I'm so glad you're here! Quickly, Edward and Nessie will be home soon, and we need your help" So that would explain the gathering in the kitchen. She grinned up at me with a twinkle in her eyes. I had seen that smile before. It always meant trouble. She shoved me towards Carlisle and Esme, who were looking over cake designs, decorations, and invitations. "Since you know Nessie best, we thought you could help us plan her surprise party!" She clapped her hands together beaming at me expectantly. I cringed and glanced over at Bella, who was glaring at me. Though she was my best friend, and understood full well exactly what Nessie meant to me, she still had a hard time dealing with it. Go figure. Out of everyone I thought Bella would be the most understanding, but I had thought wrong. Edward had had to come to my rescue on more than one occasion. I am sure it was all due to what she knew was coming, of how she knew my feelings would be changing, and what no doubt Edward told her what I had been thinking. I shuddered, and sincerely hoped he didn't pay attention to everything." Sure Alice, no problem" I said, giving her my best Jacob grin. "What exactly do you need help with?"

She didn't have time to answer, because off in the distance I heard a small voice, so clear and crisp, like the sound of wind chimes. "Dad! You didn't tell me he was already waiting!" a loud sigh. "Jaaaaaacob! I'm hooooome!" and I was out the door. I felt the wind against my face, the breeze tugging through my hair as I ran. I couldn't get to her fast enough. When I did, I scooped her up in my arms twirling her around and kissing her cheek as she giggled and wrapped her arms so tight around my neck, I thought she could have crushed me. I set her back down again, not wanting to, and turned to face Edward who didn't look as pleased. "Hello Jacob" he greeted me. "Hi" I smiled at him. I couldn't help myself. It was too hard to try not to be so happy when she was near me. It had been hours since I had seen her. Ever since she was born we were never more than a few hours apart, and every single time it was agony. "Renesme I am going to meet your mother. Jacob, take care of her." He winked at me. I knew he had to add the last part for Bella's sake, but he and I knew she could never be in safer hands than mine. I would kill anything that ever tried to hurt her. He hugged her then, patted my shoulder, and was gone.

She looked up at me, so beautiful, wondering in her eyes. "What was that all about?" she asked me. "Who knows" I responded. Only I did know. Edward was giving us time alone, time he knew I wanted with her. I silently thanked him, and heard his quiet chuckle from across the field. I still wasn't sure about whether he approved or not, be he knew what it had been like for Bella and him when Charlie had clearly wanted him out of the picture. Well, he hadn't minded so much, but he knew how much it had hurt Bella, how much she resented him for it, and he couldn't do the same thing to Nessie. "Come for a walk with me" I said, grabbing her hand in mine. She took mine with no reservation and followed me back towards the forest. God, how I loved her hands. They looked so small and fragile, and yet, I knew if she tried she could crush a small boulder. She giggled. "So am I walking with boy Jacob or wolf Jacob today?"

"Neither." My voice caught in my throat. "Man Jacob."

She brought her free hand up to her lips, then back down again. "oh." She breathed. We walked in silence till I found our spot. We had been coming here for years, ever since the Cullens moved to this place. They said it had reminded them a lot of Forks but couldn't go back just yet for obvious reasons. Not enough time had passed, people would still remember them, and they all still looked the same, not aged one bit. It was just too high a risk. I had to admit I was thankful they had grown so fond of that place, I needed the forest area to run, and though I think secretly Carlisle and Esme picked this spot because of that as well.

A little brook trickled down and crossed the clearing we had arrived at, the path we were walking suddenly disappearing. Just on the other side, a soft hill covered in moss and leaves and tree roots lay hiding an opening to a small cave. Opposite the hill two fallen trees intercepted each other bathed in sunlight that came cascading through an opening in the canopy. It was beautiful here. Nessie had found it one day while we were playing a hunting game, hiding on me in the small cave for hours till she was sure I had given up and almost ran home to call in reinforcements. The moment she jumped out to call me back I sprang at her, knocking her to the ground, both of us erupting in fits of laughter. We had spent so many days here after that. Talking, laughing, and sitting in silence. We built small fires in the cave sometimes and camped overnight, me holding her close to keep her warm. This was our place, no one else's. I pulled her over to one of the fallen trees and sat down, dragging her arms across my lap and lacing her fingers with mine. I then pulled her into me, resting her head on my chest as I draped my other arm across her shoulders. We both sighed. I could hear her heartbeat pick up a little and smiled to myself.

It had not been like this with us before. It had not been like this ever. Not this…wanting, this need. I had always felt drawn to her, protective, connected. Kind of like the way a big brother would feel of his kid sister, her best friend, her rock. But now, things were changing. She was an adult now. I could see that, and my feelings for her were stronger than I had ever felt for anyone, even Bella. Bella was not even a blip on the radar compared to how I felt about Nessie. It had all started a few months ago; I was at the Cullens' waiting for her while I sat with Edward, Alice, and Emmett. I remembered like it was yesterday. Carlisle and Esme had been out on their own little getaway; Rose was in the garage working on one of her new cars, and Jasper off reading somewhere. Bella had been upstairs with Nessie. When she came downstairs my breath caught in my throat. Her long curls cascaded down her back, and across her shoulders, shimmering in the sun that shone through the window. Her pale, beautiful, flawless skin flush by the pink color in her cheeks. Her lips were moist, full and inviting. Inviting? That wasn't right .I had never looked at her this way before. Never in all her life. But now, now as I scanned her body, noticing the way her jeans hugged every curve of her long, lean legs right up to her hips. I noticed the peek of her stomach from underneath her shirt, and the smooth pink tank top that fit her ivory skin like a glove, showing of her well built arms, and breasts that were almost popping out the top, daring me not to look. Yes, she was definitely a woman now. I gulped, Edward growled, and Alice laughed.

"Jacob, where are you?" Nessie's hand came up to my cheek and I snapped back into the present, gazing down at her. I stroked her chin with my thumb. "Just thinking of you" I responded. She blushed. I had no idea if her feelings had changed as irrevocably as mine had these past months, but I knew even as a little girl she had always understood that that she belonged to me, and I belonged to her. Her expression changed just then, and I wasn't quite sure how to read it. "Jacob, I…" she began. Her voice trailed off, and before I knew what was happening she was kissing me, a million images flooding through my brain, and filling my heart completely. They were all of me. I sat stunned as we moved against one another, her lips on mine. They were all of me. Images of her as a baby in my arms, The hunting games we used to play, piggy back rides, walks through the woods, deep conversations that lasted all night. So many images, all of me, and we continued kissing. She sighed and leaned into me farther, I could almost feel her heart beating through to my chest. Her lips parted and I brushed the tip of my tongue against hers. Heat rushed through me, and I felt a familiar shaking course through my body. I pushed her away from me suddenly.

Of in the distance we heard a loud shrieking sound, followed by that of splintering wood. Nessie's eyes grew wide and almost horrified as she looked up at me. "Oh shit" she breathed.

I could feel her sitting there. My face felt hot, as I tried to calm myself down enough to get these shakes away. What the hell was that? My eyes were still closed, for fear of losing control, as well as fear of opening them to see her face. I felt my mouth twist down into a frown. I opened my eyes slowly. She was staring at me wide-eyed, mouth gaping open, face full of questions and was that…fear? I exhaled.

"Jacob…wha-"

"I don't know" I cut her off. I knew what she was going to ask, and I didn't know how to answer her. I wasn't sure myself. I was sitting there, trying to figure it all out, confused as all hell, and knowing she was sitting there waiting for answers.

"But Jacob, you-"

"I know, Nessie. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I don't know how that happened." I had started shaking when she kissed me. That wasn't good. Tingles, yes, those were good. I knew those feelings well, but not the shaking, that was bad. That was something I wasn't used to, wasn't prepared for. It didn't happen that way when I had kissed Bella. Why now? This imprinting stuff just kept getting more and more complicated and I wondered if I would ever really understand it. I had never had to keep a check on my control around Nessie. Not ever, not even when we had stood up against the Volturi so many years ago, and I was still a newborn (so to speak) back then. Not until now, until this very moment had I ever had to think about it around her. I just always wanted her safe, it was an automatic response.

We were both jolted out of our thoughts by the sound of another horrific scream, followed by the sound of more splintering wood. Without thinking I grabbed Nessie and flung her over my back, racing toward the house. I could feel her breath on my skin, as she sniffled, and I felt a tear trickle down my neck to my shoulder. Shit. Once we arrived at the house I set her down. I knew very well she could have ran on her own. I just didn't care at the moment. I needed to feel her near me. I need her to know that she could be near me, that it was okay.

I looked up finally, and saw that it definitely was not ok. Edward was standing over me. Well, not over me because I was still taller than him, but if he could have looked down on me in that moment he would have. His nostrils were flared, and he was breathing his vampire stink all over me. I flinched and scrunched my face up, trying to hold back the nasty comments swarming around in my head. "Nessie go inside aunt Rosalie is waiting for you" he commanded to her without taking his eyes off me. "But dad" she began. "Just go". His voice was final. She went, but not without turning to cast one final glance my way. The look in her eyes almost broke me into a million pieces. I needed to fix this."What, may I ask, were you thinking Jacob Black? Putting Nessie in danger like that?" I flinched at his words. "Bella is a wreck you should know. I sent her off with Emmett in the hopes that maybe destroying a few trees might help her to not destroy your face." He spit the words at me. "Care to explain exactly how you managed to get so close to phasing in front of Nessie?"

"Not really" I sneered down at him. "I don't think you'd wanna know anyways"

"On the contrary dog, I was always alright with your little…situation, because I knew you would keep her safe. Today though, you proved otherwise. That's never happened before. I'm not sure how long it will take for Bella to get over this, as for me, well I'm just very curious" His eyes were dark as he spoke and looked off in the distance, obviously deep in thought. He was a lot like Carlisle in that way. They liked figuring things out that weren't the norm. If something unusual happened that they hadn't ever heard of, it consumed them. I hadn't counted on Edward taking that kind of interest in my reaction to kissing Nessie.

"You're right dog; I am not pleased about that part. But obviously this imprinting thing won't let you go anywhere, so in order to keep her safe we have to figure out what triggered this, am I correct?" He looked at me then, eyebrows rising with the end of his question. As if he didn't know the answer to that one. I could feel his warped mind reading my thoughts before I even began to answer, so I huffed my response instead. I wasn't ready to talk about this with him. I wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone. I didn't even want to think about it, what I wanted was to go to her, and make it okay. "Not a chance" he interrupted me again. I clenched my hands into tight fists wishing him away at the same time. "I would really like it if you stayed out of my head, Edward!" I nearly growled.

"Sorry. Habit I guess. The others are so used to it…" his voice trailed off, and was quieter the next time he spoke. "Carlisle is home now. I think it's best if we spoke to him, maybe he knows something we don't."

I followed him inside, and up the stairs to Carlisle's office, looking around the house for any sign of Nessie. This house was a lot like the one they had in Forks, almost the same really. Esme had found the lot and begged Carlisle to build their house here. I use the term beg very loosely, because Carlisle was usually pretty easily swayed and saw no problem giving Esme what she wanted, besides it wasn't like it was an obscene request. Wherever the Cullens decided to settle down they would have had to build their own house anyways to cater to all the different needs of each family member. Rosalie refused to live without a proper garage. Edward needed a library, Alice her own vanity room plus walk-in closet, and just recently, they added on a separate attachment to the house for me to stay. Edward and Bella had moved back in, and I'm sure Bella missed her cottage, but I knew she missed her family more. Before they built this house, I hadn't known how much Forks had meant to them.

As we walked, I couldn't hear Rosalie or Nessie. I couldn't hear anyone at all, and it was sort of creepy. I longed to be near her again. My nerves were getting the best of me every minute I was away from her. Edward glanced back at me, but said nothing. My jaw clenched, and then unclenched. I began worrying, wondering where they had taken her. Did they really think just because of one tiny incident that she would constantly be in harm's way now? I didn't understand the situation any better than they did at the moment but I knew one thing for sure, and that was that I would never hurt her. I had stopped it hadn't I? I didn't phase in front of her like my body wanted me to. I stopped. That should count for something, but not to these monsters. They still saw me as a threat, looking for any excuse to get rid of me. They didn't want her with me, I could feel it. Edward stopped suddenly right in front of Carlisle's door. "That's not true Jacob and you know very well that Carlisle and Esme have done everything they can to make you feel comfortable. We are just taking an extra precaution. That is all. We want to understand what's going on before…"

"Before you let her see me again?" I spat at him. "Is that it? Keep her from the wolf till you're sure she's safe? It's not going to work Edward!" I was shouting at him now. "I love her! And she loves me too you know. It was her that kissed me not the other way around! You stole Bella from me, and I won't let you take Nessie too!" He flinched at that last part. I hadn't meant for it to come out. I didn't even feel that way anymore, I knew Bella had made her choice. That hadn't been his fault entirely. "I'm not going to hurt her." I muttered. Why did this all feel like weird Déjà vu? Like I had this argument with him before? Oh right…because I had. "Jacob you know out of everyone I am the last person to keep you two apart. It hurts her I can see that. But please just understand. You remember Emily don't you? It hasn't been so long that you've forgotten your brother has it? Is one day with Nessie really worth a lifetime of guilt over something that may have been prevented?"He had a point, I knew it. I hated admitting when he was right. My shoulders slumped, and I followed as he opened the door and walked into Carlisle's office.

"Good afternoon boys, what can I do for you?" Carlisle stood, walking around the front of his desk to face us. "Sorry father, I do hope we are not interrupting." Edward spoke. Did they have to speak so proper all the time? It got on my nerves. It never used to bug me but 20 years of whatever century chat was starting to get to me. Carlisle chuckled softly then "Goodness no, I was just going over some cases from work. Talk away." He gestured to Edward, and he gave Carlisle a rundown of the day's events. Carlisle eyed me carefully as Edward spoke, and I tried looking everywhere in the room but in his eyes. He nodded when Edward was done and turned to him. "And what about Bella?"

"Bella left with Emmett, I thought it was best" Edward answered.

"Yes, good thinking." He walked back around his desk then and sat down, then turned to me and folded his hands in front of him. "So Jacob, You have no idea what could have brought this on? Did you feel angry or nervous at the time?" I bit my lip. As used to talking to Carlisle as I had gotten over the time I had spent with him, I didn't know who to talk to him about this. It was his grand-daughter. I bit my lip, and looked down. "No, not angry I mean. I was nervous yeah, but she just came at me, I didn't have time to think, I just reacted. I don't know how it happened. Then I felt myself getting hot, and I knew it was close so I shoved her away."

"Hmm" he looked deep in though and he brought his hand up to rub his forehead. "At the time were you…" long pause "aroused?" from beside me I could hear Edward growl in his throat. If it had been possible for me to shrink I would have right there in that office. Aroused? Was he seriously asking me this? I didn't know how to answer, so I didn't. I just stood there, not knowing what to say next. It grew deadly quiet in the room all around us, and suddenly the sound of Nessie's laughter drifted up from somewhere outside below. Edward grabbed my arm, keeping me from bolting out of the room and running to her. I wretched my arm away from his cold hand and stalked across the room to go sit on the couch. "So are you just gonna keep me here forever, questioning me to death, till you figure out what kind of deformity caused this problem? You know it's not even that big a deal. I stopped. I didn't hurt her! I stopped." I couldn't stop myself from saying the same things over and over. Was I trying to convince them? Or was I trying to convince myself? Carlisle looked over at me, with worry in his eyes. He sighed. "Jacob we just want to understand to be safe, I'm sure Edward has explained it to you. But I'm afraid I cannot give you any answers, I know very little about your kind, and what I do know I have learned from watching you and your brothers. Since you have never encountered this before, I am about as stumped as you are." I leaned over, propping my arms up on my knees and buried my face in my hands. I knew what this meant. I knew it from the moment it happened, and was hoping and praying that it wouldn't come to this. Edward turned to me; the most pained and worried expression on his face. Then he looked out the window, searching for something. "You have to leave don't you" it was almost a whisper as it came out.

"Yeah, I do." I grumbled into my hands. I didn't bother lifting my head.

"She can't come with you, can she?" He guessed.

"No, she can't. I have to go find Sam."

****

**Please expect a lot of cliffhangers. I love cliffhangers and as such will be ending most of my chapters that way. No worries though, I will try to keep the updates coming on a regular basis (most likely Mondays) so you will not be left waiting for weeks one end :)**

**For those of you who were creeped out by the whole Jacob-imprinting-on-a-baby thing I have tried to skip over most of that for you.**

**comment please! what do you think? should I just scrap the whole thing now? Do you need more Nessie? Let me know!**

**Thanks for reading,  
until next time :)**

Joy 


	2. Chapter 2 The One With Goodbye and Hello

**A/n: I am a horrible person. My sincerest apologies for making you wait over a month for the chapter 2 update. I promise that will not happen again. Life has been crazy here, my son has not been sleeping, and then we both got sick, and then I got writer's block. Enough excuses, to make it up to all of you this chapter is longer. I hope you all like it.**

**Again I must give a shoutout to the girls over at twilight20somethings for their never ending support and encouragement.**

**HUGE hugs and thank yous to PRNCESS and BITTENBYJACKSPER for their creativeness and beta techniques. This chapter would not have been finished without you. I heart you girls endlessly.**

**now on with the show!! **

**Chapter 2 – The One with Goodbye & Hello Again.**

I could feel the wind in my hair as my bike raced along the highway. I missed riding, and it had been a while since I was out on the open road, miles stretched out before me. I couldn't remember the last time very well. I was still getting used to this bike. It was new, a gift from Carlisle when my last one finally crapped out on me. I couldn't help but revel in the smell of new leather, the feel of shiny cold metal between my legs, the rumble of a brand new engine as I rode on.

As much as I had loved my old bike, I had to let it go. After a few hundred tune-ups and fix-ups on mine and Bella's part, it finally died, beyond repair. I smiled to myself remembering those days. They were still the only stolen moments I could manage with my best friend. You wouldn't believe how impossible it was to find privacy with someone in a house full of vampires, especially with someone like Edward around. He never left Bella alone, it was kind of annoying.

The only thing I had a hard time getting accustomed to was the fact that Bella was actually good at fixing bikes now, and also really interested in learning anything I could teach her about them. Her fingers worked with speed and precision, and sometimes I might even go as far as to say she was better than me. Bella had come a long way from the broken girl that sat in my garage all those years ago.

I passed a fallen tree just then and my mind drifted to Renesmee and the last time I had seen her. It was only yesterday, but felt so much longer to me now, and my chest hurt thinking about it. Every mile that I got further away from her it seemed to intensify, like magnets pulling toward each other, it was almost as if gravity just wouldn't let me leave her side.

***

After I had met with Edward and Carlisle, I went to find Nessie. I didn't care if Rosalie wouldn't let me near her; I had to know she was going to be ok. I had to tell her what I needed to do. I didn't want to go; I couldn't bear to leave her. The thought alone made me sick and I could feel the bile rising up in my throat as I descended the stairs. I had no choice now. If I ever expected to be around her and keep her safe, I had to find out why that had happened.

Sam was the only one who could explain it to me. Even though he and the rest of his pack understood why I had to leave and go with the Cullens, it had been years since we talked, and since I never really needed to phase anymore we sort of just lost touch. I had no idea what Seth and Leah were up to, and I did kind of feel bad about that part. I had been their leader. Seth knew why I needed to go, and wanted to come with me, but at the time I had told him he needed to stay with his mom, and he agreed. Leah was another story altogether. She refused to stay there, and I refused to let her follow me. I had never wanted to be their alpha, but I wasn't given any choice when they followed me. Maybe things had worked out. I wanted to check on them so many times, but wasn't sure what to say or do, so I just didn't. I had no idea what would be waiting for me when I returned.

I heard Edward come down the stairs after me, and felt his cold granite hand clamp down on my shoulder keeping me in place. I shuddered away from him.

"Maybe I should be the one to tell her." I felt his cold breath on the back of my neck as he spoke. My hands automatically clenched into fists as I spun to face him. I wasn't sure exactly what my face looked like, but he retracted his hand and flinched away. It was odd for me now seeing him react this way, when only years ago he would have stared me down.

"Sorry Edward but that's not a risk I'm willing to take. We both know how she's going to take this. We haven't been apart from each other a day in her life, and now I'm going away not knowing how long I'll be gone. Do you really think the news would be better coming from you?"

"No, I do not, but considering the circumstances…"

"I can handle it." My voice was low in my throat, almost a growl. We both heard her then, my mood altering dramatically.

"Jaaacob! Where are you?" Renesmee bounded around the corner and crashed into me like a bowling ball being thrown down an alley. Just in time I captured her and kept her from knocking me and Edward over by the sheer force of her impact. My arms caught her roughly and held her there while I regained my balance. I breathed her in. The scent of shampoo and hair and fabric softener overshadowed the vampire stink. I let her go after that, and without me to distract her, she noticed the intensity lingering around us. Dropping my hands immediately and moving so fast, she had pushed me out of the way and before I knew what was happening, was standing before Edward shoving her pointed finger into his chest.

"Daddy, were you and Jake fighting again?" Edward grimaced.

"Not fighting, Renesmee…"

"Is that why you had aunt Rose take me away just now? Just what the hell is going on here? I told Aunt Rose and I'll tell you too. I. AM. FINE." Her voice was raised and she was almost yelling at him now. "I don't understand what everyone is making such a big fuss over. Jacob didn't hurt me. He would never even dream of it. You know this better than I do. He's phased in front of me before and use to all the time when I was a little girl. So I don't see why now all of the sudden everyone decides that I'm suddenly in danger. It's because I kissed him isn't it? Because the thought of us actually being together upsets everyone so much that you'd fight to keep us apart? Well it's not going to happen. Jacob isn't going anywhere. I am his and he is mine. MY Jacob. So deal with it."

I almost had to stifle a laugh. As much as Renesmee was just like her father: talented, thoughtful, mysterious at times, and very smart, there were also parts of her that were just like her mother: stubborn, loud, and always so sure of herself and her decisions. Sometimes it was as if Bella was standing in front of me and not my Nessie. It kind of freaked me out in a way. Edward stood quietly for a few moments. It was a good thing he had enough years of practice with Bella that nothing should really surprise him about these two women anymore. He shot a knowing glance at me and smiled in spite of himself.

"What exactly are you smiling at? I find none of this very funny" Renesmee demanded.

"Nothing. It seems 'your Jacob' notices a lot of similarities between you and your mother."

"Out with it dad!" she knew he was trying to stall.

"It's not that I don't want you two together, I just want to make sure you are safe. You can understand that can't you? We just met with your grandfather to try and figure out why something like that could have happened."

"First of all, no, I can't understand that. How much safer could I be than when I am with Jacob? He couldn't hurt me, could you Jake?" She turned then to look at me over her shoulder. I hung my head.

"Ness, I..." I tried to being, but she cut me off.

"Never mind! Of course you wouldn't. Second..." She turned back to face Edward. "Just what did you find out?"

I looked up to see if I could figure out if he was going to tell her or not, and maybe try and stop him, but the look on her face made my breath hitch in my throat. So hopeful and innocent, yet only a moment ago she had been almost screaming at her father, hands thrown up in the air in frustration. Yes, she was just like Bella. It was her hope that broke me. Hope that grandpa Carlisle could fix everything, that he knew what was wrong and could give us our solution. How could I stand there and tell her that he had come up with nothing, and to top it all off, that I had to leave for an undetermined amount of time? I couldn't. Maybe Edward had been right. Perhaps it really would be better for her to hear the news from him and not me. At least then I would stand a chance of her forgiving me. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, out of habit I guessed.

"Renesmee, we didn't really find out all that much. All of Carlisle's information about shape shifters is based on what he's learned by watching Jacob and the rest of the wolves. We've tried to get more information but couldn't find any on this particular situation. I am sorry."

"So what now?" she was still looking up at him, eyes wide with concern.

"Jacob believes he knows how to find out exactly what triggered that response from him, but there is just one thing standing in the way."

"what?"

"You" he answered. It was the truth. She was the only thing keeping me here.

"How could I possibly be the thing standing in the way? If it's really a choice he has to make then you have the answer from me already." She whirled to face me. "I can't be without my best friend. Whatever it is Jacob, you have to do it."

Edward interrupted before I could get anything out "It's not all that simple. We figure the only person who can help him is Sam."

"Well that's easy then, just phase and talk to him!"

I shook my head. It was my turn. Only I could be the one to break this to her. "It's not like that, Nessie. I'm not part of his pack; he can't hear my thoughts anymore. Only Seth and Leah can. Even if it would work, it's been too long, too much time has passed, and this has to be done face to face. I have to go find him."

Renesmee's shoulders slumped and her head tilted forward as she looked down at the floor. Her soft curls fell forward, which prevented me from seeing the expression on her face -- though I wasn't all that sure I wanted to see it even if I could. The next time she spoke her voice was so low I was almost positive that no regular human would have been able to hear her. Her bottom lip jetted out.

"But we've never been apart before." My chest heaved at her words. My stomach lurched. I felt like I was going to be sick. "How long, Jacob?" She looked up at me through her eyelashes.

I reached for her hand and pulled her into me, not wanting to have to face her when I hurt her. I didn't care that Edward was still there, watching us both. I cared about Nessie, and about protecting what it was that we shared, that no one else would ever understand. No one except Sam would ever understand. I mumbled into her hair, speaking gently the words I knew would crush her.

"I don't know. I'm not even sure if he's still in La Push. If he isn't, that means I have to track him down." I felt the quiet sobs start, and squeezed her tighter. I never thought I would ever have another reason to hate what I had become.

Being what I was, it was exactly the thing that brought me to Nessie. If it weren't for me being a wolf I would have never stayed so long around the Cullens. It was exactly the thing that kept me there, and the thing that tied me to Renesmee now. But as I stood there, holding the one person I thought I could never hurt, I found myself in that place once again. Hating myself and hating the world. It made me so mad I could spit.

"How long, Jacob?" She asked again. I sighed.

"A day or two maybe, I'm not sure; at very worst, a month. There's no way to know..." I shut my eyes tight as I felt them start to burn and water. I don't know when Edward had left but suddenly I was aware that we were alone.

"Promise me Jake, that you'll come back to me when you're done?" she whispered. I couldn't help but laugh. As much as she was vampire, she was also very human. I pulled back and looked down into her eyes.

"Don't you remember what you just said? You are mine, and I am yours, and always will be. I have followed a family of vampires all over this world your entire life because I cannot bear to be without you. You know I would never leave you for good. I can't. It's impossible." My thumb grazed her cheek and wiped away the tears that were falling.

She sniffed. "Good." It was all she said.

I sat down on the stairs and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her as she laid her head on my chest and started to draw circles over my arm with her finger. We sat there like that for an indefinite amount of time. It seemed to pass so quickly. The house was still silent; though I was sure everyone was home by now. No one came to check on us, or see if we were okay. It was as if we were the only two people around. Finally, she sat up.

"You going to be ok?" she asked.

"Sure, sure" I answered her as I waved my hand nonchalantly.

We got up and walked into the kitchen where everyone was gathered, even Emmett and Bella who had apparently returned while I was talking to Renesmee. Carlisle was the first one to speak.

"I trust you wanted to get as early a start as was possible. I took the liberty of getting a few things ready for you, hope you don't mind. Your bike is out front. Esme packed some food for you to take along as well."

"And I," Alice interjected, throwing a big black motorcycle bag at me. "Packed you some clothes." Figures she would have been prepared for a road trip on a motorcycle. "I know, I know. You probably won't need them what with being all wolfy and everything, but humor me will you please?" She smiled wide and bright, then danced over to me and threw her arms around my neck. I huffed and exhaled trying not to breathe in her vampire stink. "Try to hurry home Jake. We'll miss you around here. Without you to take all the blows Emmett will be forced to pick on all the rest of us. I can't see that going very well for him or Bella." She winked.

Emmett laughed. "No worries Jake man I'll save some for when you get home." I chuckled at that. No doubt he would.

Rosalie was next. "It will be nice not having dog stink around for a little bit," Renesmee shot her a sideways look "but the house is rather boring without a pet to entertain us so yes, please hurry back."

"Will do, Rose" That was about as heartfelt anything as I could have expected from her.

Jasper waved and nodded once in my direction which I took as his own form of goodbye. I still had a hard time figuring him out. With that, I turned and headed for the door, followed closely by Renesmee, Bella, Edward, Carlisle, and Esme. Carlisle patted me on the back, and then stepped to put his arm around Esme, who I am sure would have cried then if she was able to. I didn't get what was so sad, it's not like I was dying or anything. It sure as hell sucked having to leave Nessie behind. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me that the Cullens were prone to over-reaction.

"Not over-reaction." Edward said. Standing there calm with Bella tucked into his side, mirroring the way Carlisle held Esme so close. "We just know how hard this is going to be on you and Renesmee. You have to understand Esme thinks of you as a son now." I risked a glance her way and saw her head slightly nod forward, indicating what he was saying was in fact, true. I hadn't thought they might consider me family up till now. I always figured myself kind of an outsider, not being a vampire and all that. "Not at all Jacob." Edward continued. "You are family now."

Bella stepped forward then. "This does not mean I am not mad at you Jacob Black." Was she scolding me? "But this is obviously more important, so do us a favor and try not to get hurt or anything ok?" I guess not. She hugged me gently then stepped back into Edward's side. Everyone except Renesmee turned around then and they left us alone.

I leaned down to her till my forehead was resting against hers, which wasn't very easy considering the height difference. We had just said our goodbyes, but it didn't feel like nearly enough.

"I'll miss you." She whispered.

"Yeah, me too." I bent my head to press my lips against hers very slightly, as a flash of our previous kiss flickered behind my eyelids. I smiled at the memory, and at my Nessie. No one on this earth could ever do what she did. I opened the door and walked out to my bike, glancing back at her for only a split second. I felt like she had ripped my heart out just now and tucked it in her dainty hand as she stood there, arms wrapped around herself trying to hold it together.

***

I came back to reality, out of the daydream and all my thoughts of her. I did not want to relive our goodbye any longer than I already had. I wanted to shove it away in a box where it could never be felt ever again. I started to notice familiar landmarks that warned me I was getting closer. I silently prayed that he was still in La Push and that I wouldn't have to go off on some wild goose chase. That would have been super annoying. I just wanted to find out what the hell was wrong with me and get home.

I still wasn't sure I could grasp it sometimes that I thought of the Cullens' as home. Finally I arrived. I pulled my bike over and loped into the forest off the highway to phase. I didn't want to ride all the way into La Push and face everyone if Sam wasn't even around anymore. I was glad not much had changed around here as I gulped in cool, moist air all around me. The lush green smell of the forest was still the same sweet pine scent. I could feel the crunch of rotted fallen tree trunks underfoot as I padded my way out of sight.

I realized just then I didn't know how I was going to do this. Howl? Call for Seth? What if Seth was mad at me? I knew Sam and Quil or Embry wouldn't be able to hear my thoughts. This was something I hadn't anticipated. I found myself running towards the house we had always met at before, Emily's place. Perhaps it was out of habit, maybe it was out of hope that I would just find them there and the decision would be made for me, but when I got there, nothing. It was run down now. Boards here and there were rotting out, smelling of mold and termites. Cobwebs hung in low places clinging as if to say the place had been long forgotten. The small house looked sad. It was a whole world away from where my life was now. Of course they wouldn't be here anymore. Sam and Emily would have gotten married, had a place of their own. Did they have kids now? I wondered. Emily would have been an amazing mom. Part of me wished I could have been here for it all. But there was no time for remorse now, I had made my decision, I needed to face this and get back to my life, my family, my Nessie. I sat there, contemplating my next move, when I heard a familiar voice enter my thoughts.

_Haha! Caught you. See I told you I was getting faster. You're getting a lot slower than you used to be, Leah._

_Oh shut it. Can you just maybe leave me alone for once in your life? You don't have to follow me everywhere. We're not a pack anymore, haven't been for a really long time. Not since Jacob left us, so bug off will you?_

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not a pack anymore? Had I done that to him? Guilt started to set in. Great, just what I needed right now. I wondered if they knew I was here, if maybe they could hear my right now, or if they had disowned me completely. I took a deep breath, here went nothing.

_Uhh, Seth? Leah? It's me, Jacob. _This made me feel stupid for some reason.

I sat there waiting for a response, anything at all.

_Jake? Really? Jacob your back! Man it's been so long. How are you? How's Edward and Carlisle? Is everyone ok?_

_Yeah Seth. It's all ok. I'm not back for good. The Cullens are all good. I came back because I actually needed to see Sam about something. Know where I could find him?_

_Jake? Seriously? So you've come back to claim your lost pack now or what? Really, we're doing fine without you thanks._

_Leah shut it. Yeah Jake Sam's around. He's probably with Emily up at their house. They have a baby girl now. You should see her Jacob she's amazing. Looks just like her mom. They named her Neena. It means 'Mighty". It suits her. Man, Sam and Emily are going to freak when they see you._

_Sure sure Seth. It's good to talk to you too, and Leah, no I'm not claiming my pack, but doesn't look like there's much of a pack to claim now is there? If you don't mind I have some things to take care of._

_Jacob meet me by the old spot, up near the cliffs. I'll bring you to them if you want._

_Sounds good Seth, I'm on my way._

I phased back to my human form when I got there, feeling more uncomfortable than I thought I would as a wolf. It didn't take Seth long to get there. He phased then too and I was thankful I had remembered to bring my clothes with me. I brought both a shirt and shorts this time.

"Hiya Jake. Leah didn't want to come, she's having another fit"

"Sure sure, I understand, it's Leah."

He turned and walked off then. "It's not far from here actually; Sam had the house built after they got married. They lived alone for a few years till they decided to have a baby. They wanted to make sure Sam could be around and all that instead of running around with the others you know. She's 3 now, the cutest baby you'll ever see, aside from Nessie of course. You know Jake, Sam's still done a good job watching over everything since you left. He even offered to take me back but it didn't feel right to me. You're my leader now. I don't want you to feel bad about going away. You didn't have much of a choice. I get it, even if Leah doesn't."

I patted him on the back. It was good to know things hadn't changed too much. I felt better knowing that some things got to remain the same, and that he still had people looking out for him.

"That's good to know Seth, thanks." He kept talking, rambling on about the rest of the guys, what everyone was up to, and how things were now that Sam was more family man and less leader of the pack. He was still Alpha but spent more time at home and left the running to the rest of the guys. I enjoyed his company a lot more than I had remembered. Back then I had thought of him as annoying, but that could have been more or less because of the state I had been in. Now I was happy, in a good place in my life and I found the company of an old friend comforting and not at all as uneasy and awkward as I thought it would have been.

He stopped in front of a large white house, not really like anything I had seen before here in La Push. The first thing I noticed was the big tree on the front lawn, a tire swing hanging from one of the thicker branches, still swaying as if someone had just been using it. There were large blue shutters over every window, glimmering in the sun as if the paint had just received a fresh coat. The door to the front entrance was painted a bright red, high in contrast to the blue and white.

It was all so typically Emily, she had always wanted to be 'The girl behind the red door'. Stairs led up to a great big wrap around porch, with a small banister closing it in. Off to the side sat a rocking chair, and right in the middle under the door was one of those bristle welcome mats. Everything looked like it could come straight out of a house and home magazine. I wondered if the inside of the house looked as clean-cut and all-American as the outside had. I smiled inwardly as relief washed over me. I hadn't even known I had been so worried all this time, but standing here now, I knew they were happy, and that everything was ok.

Seth walked up on the porch, knocked once loudly on the door, and opened it to step inside. "Sam, Em, you home? It's me Seth, you have a, uh, visitor"

I heard Emily's voice call from down the hall that stretched out in front of us. "In the kitchen" Of course she was in the kitchen, where else would she be?

"Shoes." Seth pointed to my feet. I removed my shoes and tucked them against the wall by the door. Then followed Seth down the hallway to the kitchen where Emily and Sam were seated around a table, a high chair between the two of them where a little girl sat eating out of a fruit cup. The kitchen was very bright, windows all around the room letting the sun in and casting light against the pale yellow painted walls. Sam looked up then and saw me standing behind Seth, and almost choked on the piece of toast he was eating.

"Jacob. What a surprise this is. Come in, have a seat. You remember Emily, and this is Neena, our daughter, she's 3 now"

I looked across and Emily was looking at me in a strange way. That was to be expected I guess. Then I saw Neena. She had shoulder length, very black, very thick straight hair, deep brown eyes the size of saucers, and a small dimple in the corner of her left cheek as she smiled timidly at me.

"Neena, honey, this is Jacob, he's a very good friend of ours"

"Hi Jacob." The small voice said. It took me aback; she spoke so well for someone of her age. I guess I couldn't be that surprised though, Nessie had been speaking since she was only weeks old.

"Thanks Sam, it's nice to meet you Neena. Emily, you look well, congratulations on the baby, and the house, it really is beautiful. Sam…" I turned towards him, a nervous sensation creeping up inside, not really understanding why I was feeling so awkward all of the sudden. "I'd rather not sit actually, there's something I kind of needed to talk to you about, I was wondering if maybe we could speak in private?"

He shot a glance toward Emily and she nodded enthusiastically, then turned to me and smiled. "It really is nice to see you Jake" her voice was as warm and comforting as always.

"Sure Jake, we can talk in the living room?" he stood to lead me out of the kitchen and into another picture perfect room. How on earth did they keep everything so neat and tidy with a baby in the house? When Nessie was running around like that it looked like a tornado had hit every hour she was awake. Even if Alice kept running behind her scooping everything up and constantly cleaning up after her messes, it was still difficult to keep it under control. I guess it didn't help that Edward gave her everything she ever asked for. How she grew up as well rounded as she was and not bratty was beyond me.

We both sat on the couch, and he faced me expectantly. There was no use in really dragging this out any longer. The awkwardness wasn't going to go away. So I started at the beginning and told him everything. From how my feeling for Nessie changed, right up to the kiss, and how I almost phased, and even about how we tried to get Carlisle to help us to no avail. When I finished, he sat there a moment, which felt like forever, before he spoke.

"I know you were probably pretty confused about all that, but it's perfectly normal for us."

"Normal? Sam, how is that normal, she could have been hurt!"

"Remember when you first found out what you were Jacob. How hard it was to control your emotions. When you got angry, or hurt, you had to focus all your energy on not phasing. It's different when you are with someone you've imprinted upon. Emotions play a really big role, and just as we have to learn to control ourselves when we are angry, we have to learn to control ourselves in these instances as well."

"Ohhh" I got it. I hadn't even thought of it that way before, but it made perfect sense. Of course I had never faced this challenge with Bella before; I hadn't ever felt this way with her. "So, when you and Emily first…"

"Yes Jacob. You have to learn to control yourself all over again. Something you have to train yourself to anticipate, and react to. Slow steps are best, perhaps trying little bits at a time."

"I see what you mean now. So Nessie's not in any danger?"

"No Jacob, she's not in danger, not unless you are careless about your actions. You can control yourself, you've learned to control everything else, now just learn to control this as well."

We sat there talking for a bit more. I had to admit that I felt a whole lot better about the whole thing, and also kind of stupid that it wasn't something I had even considered up until now. I had found the answers I came for though, and was anxious to get back to my girl. The pulling feeling had not inched one little bit, I could feel it trying to drag me out of the house by sheer force. I said goodbye to both Sam and Emily, and thanked him for talking to me. He made me promise not to stay away for so long next time, and I nodded my head in response. Maybe Nessie and I could come back here for a visit soon, if Bella and Edward would let me take her that is. Seth wrapped me up in a big hug almost squishing the air right out of me.

"I'll miss you brother, tell the Cullens I said hi."

"Yeah Seth, look us up if you ever want to, I'm sure they wouldn't mind having you around if you wanted to visit"

"Will do Jake. You take care"

With that, I was off again. I phased and raced toward my bike, hoping it was still in the place I had left it. I had forgotten all about it in my haste to get to Sam. It was still there, thankfully Before I knew what was happening I was back on the highway racing toward home, back to the place where I belonged. The road seemed to go on forever, and I groaned out loud at the length of time it was actually taking me to get there. It hadn't felt like it had taken this long when I was leaving. Why now did it suddenly feel like each mile of road crawled by, when I was pushing past nearly 20 over the speed limit.

Finally, I saw the lights of the Cullen house out in front of me as I turned off the highway and onto their private road. I gunned the engine willing the bike to go faster, not caring how safe it was or if anything was in my way. The tugging feeling was starting to subside, the ache felt deep in my chest fading as I got closer and closer. I parked the bike out front, and walked into the house; racing up the steps not caring to say hi to anyone I may have passed on my way to see her. They knew I was back; I didn't care for formalities right now.

"Nessie?" I called to her outside her door before walking in. She had been sitting on her bed, book open in her lap when she heard me and jumped up and into my arms. God did it ever feel good holding her again. With that, all the pain went away completely.

"Jacob you're home." She whispered softy into my chest, as I refused to let her go just yet. I rested my chin on top of her head, breathing in her scent and knowing there was never anywhere else I ever wanted to be. I would never have to leave her again, ever.

"Yeah, I'm Home, and don't worry. Everything is going to be ok now."

**********

**lots of fluff and sweetness to come. Perhaps teeny tiny lemons. :)**

**until next time :)**

**Joy  
**


	3. Chapter 3 The One with Regret

**A/n: Must say Thank you once again for ever more than wonderful Beta Dani!**

**Also to the girl over at [t20s] : you keep me going on a daily basis. I would not be doing this if not for all of you :)**

**Please don't hate Bella in this chapter, or Jacob. That's just the way things needed to be. I know I promised tiny lemons in this chapter, but I'm afraid it was a bit too soon for Jacob, do not worry they will get here eventually, as soon as he settles down. **

**I should probably say all characters (so far) belong to Stephanie and not myself.**

**now on with the show!! :)  
**

**Chapter 3 – The One with Regrettable Words.**

We stood there longer than was necessary. I liked the feel of her arms wrapped around me and her head against my chest. Her hair fell in long loose curls down her back and grazed against the back of my hand, tickling it softly. I buried my face in her, breathing in and out, then in and out again. I could stay there forever. She fit so perfectly it was hard to imagine that I had ever felt anything like this for anyone other than her. She was slightly taller than her mom, maybe due to the fact that she had the chance to grow into adulthood while Bella stopped abruptly at the age of 18.

Her head turned minutely and she whispered my name softly. "Jacob?"

"Hmmm." I sighed in response.

"Jacob, I'm pretty sure we need to talk about everything that's been happening. Like the kiss for instance?"

I stood silently, waiting for her to continue.

"I mean It feels like I haven't even been able to see you let alone talk to you since it happened, other than to say goodbye. There's so much I was thinking and feeling that I wanted to say, but didn't know how and then I kissed you and this whole mess happened, and oh Jacob-"

"Whoa, whoa, there Nessie. Relax a little ok? Don't make me get Jasper" I grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood. She chuckled at my attempt at a joke.

"I know Jacob, it's just…" she looked up at me, her big green eyes sparkling and pleading, speaking words she wasn't sure how to express.

"Yeah, I hear ya." My voice in reply was quiet and soft, almost a whisper. "I know we need to talk." I let go of her, keeping my hands on her arms, gently running the length of them with my fingertips. It had become a habit over the years between the two of us when she felt anxious about something. She had said something about the heat from my fingertips calming her down, but somewhere inside I liked to believe it was more than that.

She opened her mouth to speak again when her eyes darted toward the door the same time my head swiveled to do the same.

"Guess it'll have to wait then." She walked away from me leaving me standing there grasping for empty space while she plopped down on her bed and picked up her book again.

"Go away, I don't want to talk." She spoke into the hallway at what appeared to be no one. Two seconds later Edward appeared in the doorway.

"Renesmee, I'm sorry to interrupt, you may speak with Jacob soon, but Carlisle, your mother, and I would like to see him in Carlisle's office if you don't mind."

"I do mind actually, thank you for asking." For someone who had grown fully into adulthood the attitude part of her was sure slow to catch up. I fought hard to stifle my laughs as I watched that part of her take over.

"Well, that's unfortunate. We shouldn't be long, I promise." His gaze turned towards me then. "Jacob." Was all he said, then he walked out the door and down the opposite way he had come in the direction of Carlisle's office.

My shoulders slumped. I had had about enough of this at the moment and was tired of being led around like some kind of stranger they couldn't trust. It felt exactly like things had when I first found out I was a wolf and he kept Bella from me, babysitting her every second she was away from La Push. I had grown to like the Cullens, maybe love them I wasn't sure, but I sure as hell didn't like them right now. I crossed the room to her bed and grabbed her small hands in my own. Mine were almost double the size.

"I am so sorry Nessie. Give me tonight, I'll get it taken care of, Sam gave me good news, it's something we can fix I promise. Tomorrow will be ours. We can hunt if you like, stay at our spot all day long, and we can have time to talk, okay?"

"It's going to rain tomorrow!" Alice sang from somewhere downstairs and I cringed away from the growl that almost erupted from inside.

"Oops, sorry Jake! Just trying to help!" I heard her chime. I rolled my eyes inwardly, and then looked back down at Renesmee. She was smiling back at me.

"Sounds good. A whole day for me and my Jacob, I like the idea."

I quickly kissed her forehead then strode off to Carlisle's office, hoping they wouldn't keep me in there too long, and also wondering what Bella might have in store for me now that Renesmee wasn't standing right there to witness it. My guess is that it wasn't going to be pretty.

They were all standing around Carlisle's desk when I walked in the room, not bothering to knock as I knew they were expecting me and they had left the door wide open. No sense in closing doors around this place really, they could hear everything anyways if they really wanted to.

Carlisle spoke first. "I trust that you got all the information you needed from Sam, seeing as how you are back so early?"

"Yeah, he explained it all. It's kind of obvious when u think about it really. I don't know why we didn't catch on, but I don't think it will be a problem anymore."

"Oh, yes that does seem quite obvious doesn't it?" I heard Edward half whisper, while Bella turned toward him a puzzled expression on her face.

"Do you mind?" I sneered. "I'm sorry Edward but I've had quite enough the past couple days, I'd really rather you not pick my brain right now.

"Right Jacob, my apologies."

Bella stood there looking from me to Carlisle, to Edward, then back to me again. Carlisle sat with a serene expression as if he had already known what I was going to tell him about the incident. I opened my mouth to speak again when Bella erupted.

"Would someone in this room mind telling me exactly what is going on here?"

This didn't help the strain in the air, which wasn't unusual for these situations between me and them. The past few years had been more or less the same stuff. I stayed in my space--so to speak--and the Cullens stayed in theirs. I was there for Nessie whenever possible and no one really gave me any hassle because there was nothing to give me hassle about. I got along with Jasper and Emmett, well Emmett more than Jasper since he was kind of freaky and I didn't trust him with the whole controlling emotions thing, and Esme and Carlisle had taken me in as if I was their own son. That part never really surprised me though. Once in a while a fight with Rosalie would arise but it was never anything too drastic. Still, even then, anyone could feel tension in the room when we were forced to talk it out on Renesmee's command. This was no different, especially since I had almost put Renesmee in danger--but not really--and they were still waiting for an explanation why. Well, Bella was waiting. Even for a vampire sometimes she was still slow to catch on to things.

Edward spoke first. "Jacob and Sam figured out it's more of an emotional response." Bella turned to look at me then the puzzled expression still clear on her face.

"Yeah well, do u remember how when I first found out I was a wolf it was really hard to control my phasing when I got angry?"

"Yeah…" she responded, obviously not seeing where I was going with this. I didn't bother looking at Carlisle I could hear the wheels turning in his head already arriving at the end of it.

"Well, you know when we're with someone we've imprinted upon emotions are always that much more potent. It's the same thing as the anger really, only it's coming from a different place. Everything we do is tied to our emotions. If our emotions get beyond our grasp, we phase."

Bella glared at me. I flinched back unexpectedly. Hadn't this been the good news she wanted? That it wasn't any real danger I was putting her daughter in? I wasn't sure I understood why she was getting so upset when her speech broke my thoughts.

"So, what you're telling me dog is that you could possibly kill my daughter just because you're horny?"

I felt my face getting hot. My nostrils flared, and the hair on my arms stood up on end. "It's not like that with her and you know it." I spoke at her through my teeth.

"Well that's exactly what this sounds like Jacob." She spat back. "You kiss her and get a little excited and all of the sudden you're fighting the urge not to phase when she's sitting right beside you! I knew this was a mistake right from the beginning. You're no good for her Jacob, you'll hurt her. I can't let you be around her anymore, imprinting or not. You'll have to find a way to just turn this off"-

Edward grabbed hold of her just then pulling her back as she had been slowly inching her way towards me with every word. "Now Bella, let's not be rash about this. You know very well he can't just turn this off, and he can't leave her."

Bella yanked her arm away from his and turned towards him. "So you're telling me you are fine with this? You're saying that you would put our daughter in danger for the sake of some sick, demented, twisted form of puppy love?"

His face looked pained. Carlisle was in shock, and Bella kept right on going.

"I mean it Jake, you stay away from her. I'll call Sam, or Seth, or any other wolf pack member I can think of till I convince them to take you away. I'll have Rose stand near her every second if that's what it takes."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I laughed in spite of myself but regretted it the very next second. My face turned serious then as I stepped toward her, towering over her and leaning in to her face so she could feel my hot breath on her skin. My voice was dangerously low.

"You are going to do no such thing. You can't keep her away from me. No one can. You think you're so high and mighty standing there yelling at me to stay away from her when it seems not so long ago I was yelling at you for the very same reason about Edward. Funny how the tables turn don't they?" She pushed her hand into my chest shoving me backward but I kept going. "Think about it Bella. When everyone was telling you to stay away from him, that he could hurt you, when he himself was telling you that he was no good for you, you didn't listen did you? And why is that Bella? WHY?"

"That's not the same thing, Jacob, I love him." She cried out.

"Don't you see Bella? It is exactly the same thing. You didn't listen to anyone, you couldn't. You stayed with him anyway, you married him, you had sex with a vampire for this love, and you almost died because of it! You're not even human anymore all because you wanted to be with him so badly."

She cringed away from me into Edward and I could see the pain and torture on both of their faces, but I didn't care. I kept going.

"I love her. I'm not ever going to stop loving her, and she loves me too. You can't keep us apart just like no one ever could keep you two apart, and if you try to stop me I'll just run away with her. You wouldn't be able to follow us once I get far enough, and Alice can't see either of us. Is that what you really want? You both know she would choose me. Don't force me to take her away from you."

All the eyes in the room that were glaring at me grew wide, and all grew silent except for the muted cries that came from down the hall. She was crying again. I turned and left the room, heading back down the hall towards Renesmee, not caring about what I had left in my wake as all three pairs of eyes gaped after me, speechless. I stopped short when I got to her doorway, the expression on her face halting me in my tracks. This was the part I hadn't anticipated. Her tear streaked face looked up at me with hurt and anger apparent in her eyes.

"Jacob how could you?" she whispered.

"Nessie, I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do. She wanted me to leave you. You know I can't do that. I could never leave you."

"What do you mean she almost died?"

Silence.

I had no idea how to answer this one. I had forgotten Nessie didn't really know much about everything Bella went through when she has been pregnant with her. Bella had wanted to tell her when she got older but Edward refused saying she was better off not knowing at all and didn't want to risk the guilt that might come along with revealing something like that to her. Now with one outburst I had ruined that. In my efforts to hurt someone else I had hurt the one person I cared most about in the whole world. Why couldn't I stop making mistakes?

I heaved a loud sigh. "Just that, giving birth to a half vampire wasn't really the easiest thing for a fragile human." I said. I thought it better to keep things as vague as possible. She saw right through it.

"You're keeping something from me aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm sorry." I crossed the room and sat down on the bed beside her, throwing my arm around her shoulder, letting her lean her head into my side.

"It's ok Jacob; I know you wouldn't hide anything from me unless you really had to. It's not your story to tell. I understand that. So what now?"

I honestly didn't know how to answer her. I thought for a moment. "I'm not too sure anymore."

"yeah." She responded.

I wasn't sure what else to do. I had been so excited to get home to see her, knowing this was something we could handle, that we were ready to take the next step. Now I had no idea what was going to happen. Maybe the whole Cullen clan would come down on top of me for trying to be with her. Perhaps they would punish her too? I pushed the thoughts from my mind. I had to focus on her now, but I was so tired. It had been such a long day and I hadn't slept yet. I felt my eyelids starting to droop and fought to keep them open.

"Oh Jake." Her hand came up and touched my cheek, rubbing the circles under my eyes with her thumb. "You're so tired. I'm sorry, you should rest. Go sleep. I'll talk to mom and dad, maybe in the morning things will be better and we won't have to run away." She chuckled softly.

I leaned my forehead down and rested it on top of hers. "I don't want to go…" a yawn interrupted my sentence. She laughed again, a bit louder this time.

"Ok Jacob lay down here then but please sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up." She lifted my hand and kissed my palm then smiled up at me. Lying down on her bed I curled up with one of the one hundred pillows she had there. Why girls always needed so much crap on their bed was beyond me, but it sure was comfy. I felt myself drifting away and the last thing I heard was a tiny voice calling "Jacob, my Jacob."

I awoke the next morning to what felt like a lot of commotion going on, only to find Renesmee was bouncing up and down on the bed beside me. I opened one eye and peeked out of the corner of it at her.

"Jacob wake up! You've been sleeping forever, we need to get going!" she half sang and half yelped at me.

"Uhh. Right. Can you let me open my eyes first? Maybe change my clothes? Brush my teeth?" I sat up and stretched my arms out wide and yawned, then grabbed her pulling her into me and she let out a surprised gasp. I hugged her there for a moment, then let her go and leapt off the bed.

"So Nessie, like to explain why you're so excited this morning?"

"Oh, well, I did talk to mom and dad, I think I smoothed things over, though mom still seems pissed but you know her." She shook her head and rolled her eyes out of exasperation. "But today, you promised, was Jake and Nessie day. I get you all to myself finally. I missed my best friend." Her bottom lip jetted out in a pout, but her eyes were shining and I knew she was just messing with my head. I laughed, and it felt good. She turned then and almost skipped out of the room and I followed right behind, anxious to get to my room, have a shower and change my clothes too. It was nice being able to sleep in her bed last night, but it had been a day or two since I felt clean and if we were going to be spending the whole day outside, I'd rather not come home feeling dirtier than I did now.

We made it to the bottom of the stairway and I quickly kissed her on her forehead before we went our separate ways. "Aww, c'mon Jake! You can have breakfast with us can't you? We won't bite." Emmett's bellowing laughter was heard from the other room. I ignored him as I went off in search of hot water and fresh clean clothes.

Renesmee was one step ahead of me as usual. "Shut it uncle Emmett or I'll have to make you arm wrestle mom again." I smiled in spite of myself. God I loved that girl.

The sun shone through the window casting a glow about the room and making everything seem brighter than they had in the past few days. I showered pretty quickly and got dressed, ready to make my way out to the kitchen when Edward caught up with me in the hallway.

"Look Jacob, I know last night was hard, for both you and Bella. We talked with Renesmee about it all and it seems Bella is willing to overlook some things to keep her around, but I wouldn't push your luck if I were you. Just watch yourself around her, ok?"

"Got it, Edward." I said. There went my good mood and cheery disposition. Couldn't anyone trust me to act civilized around here?

"I can!" I heard a voice come from behind me and turned to see Alice dancing her way down the hall towards the kitchen with us.

"Oh hi Alice, good morning." I turned toward her as she slung her arm around me and kept walking.

"Dear Jacob, have I taught you nothing? Are you really going to wear that?" she eyed me suspiciously, obviously waiting for me to respond.

"Uhh, yeah it's just walking in the forest Alice I think I'll be fine. Oh and it looks like you were wrong about your weather forecast." I added, nodding toward the nearest window at the sun beams shining through it.

"No, I wasn't. There are clouds moving in rain will be later just you wait and see."

We entered the kitchen just now to see Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Renesmee all standing around the island in the middle, and Renesmee was eating what looked to be a bagel but wasn't enjoying it very much. Emmett however was enjoying watching her not enjoy her food.

"C'mon Nessie." He chided. "Have to keep up the human act for the public. Now who do you know that gets grossed out by a bagel?" he raised his eyebrows and nudged her side a couple times.

"No one really, just you and the rest of my immediate family." She answered, ripping a small piece of and flinging it at the side of his face where it bounced then fell back down to the counter. A small spot of cream cheese was left on his cheek, which he quickly rubbed off with the back of his hand. Emmett was laughing now. I shook my head, not surprised at all by the bantering that was going on in front of me.

"Good morning Jacob." Esme greeted me, sounding warm as always. "I do hope you slept well. I hear the trip went well? Get everything you had gone for?"

"Yes thank you." I couldn't help but be polite when I spoke to her. She had this way of bringing that out in everyone around her. "It was a good trip. I ran into Seth, he wanted me to say hello and tell everyone he misses you. I told him to come up and visit sometime, that you guys wouldn't mind it."

"No, not at all. It would be nice to have some company. Now here, why don't you sit and eat something. You must be starving." Her hand waved in front of her and for the first time I saw that the island was completely covered in piles of food. It looked like enough to feed a whole army. There were eggs, bacon, ham, toast, bagels, hash browns and fruit. They even had yogurt, granola and cereal laid out.

"Uhh, Esme, why all the food? I'm the only one who eats" I said, taking a seat on one of the island bar stools and grabbing a plate. "I mean, thank you it looks great, but you don't have to go out of your way you know."

"Oh nonsense." She brushed me off with another wave of her hand. "It's really no bother at all."

"So Jake" Renesmee bounced in her seat, eyes full of light and excitement. "When do we get to leave?"

"Probably as soon as I'm done eating we can go." I glanced behind me out the window and back over to Alice. "Apparently it's supposed to rain later so we might was well get an early start." I looked from Alice to Edward raising my eyebrows as if in question.

"Yes, Jacob it should be fine." He answered.

"Yay!" Renesmee squeaked.

"Alright you two goofs, I'm heading out of here before this love fest gets any weirder. Jacob, dude, try not to piss off Bella today by making out with my niece here too much, ok?" Emmett said, clamping his hand down on my shoulder. He paused for a moment and shook his head from side to side. "Ok I know, that just sounded weird." And with that, he was gone.

I finished up my meal and threw my dishes in the sink, feeling bad for not washing them myself but really anxious to get out of here and be alone with my girl.

As I turned she caught my hand in hers and started dragging me towards the door.

"C'mon Jacob let's go!" And as she said it I started to wonder if maybe it wasn't possible she had a bit of Alice in her too. I knew they weren't blood related but somehow the personality had rubbed off on her because she was just as excitable and impatient when she knew something good was coming. I waved my hand over my shoulder and shouted byes to everyone that was left and then we were gone.

I paused halfway through the field that led towards the forest for a minute to take a breath. Nessie stopped beside me and looked up at me, eyebrows furrowed in a look of bewilderment.

"Is everything ok Jake?"

"Yeah" I answered. "More than ok. Do you hear that?"

She looked at me still puzzled. "Hear what?"

"Exactly." I said. Then I grinned widely at her, smiling my best Jacob smile I could manage.

I grabbed for her hand again and we took off running into the forest. Headed nowhere in particular and just enjoying our freedom and time together. It had only been two or three days since I was out here with her but now looking back it felt so far away. Since then our world had spun 360 degrees on its axis, flipping us upside down and right side up again, leaving us lost and confused. I knew how I felt about her, that was one thing I knew for certain, and I was pretty confident about how she felt towards me. Yet somehow that kiss had left us both confused. Or maybe that was just me. I had no idea where we were going to go from here. It was something I had hoped would all get worked out today.

She stopped then and raised her eyebrows at me. "Smell that?" she asked with a mischievous light in her eyes. I waggled my eyebrows at her.

"Last one there is a weak little human!" She called out after me as she started running. She always cheated, and I didn't mind. Phasing beside her wasn't always the brightest idea, but soon I was on all fours racing alongside her. She was freakishly fast for being only a half vampire, and at the moment we were neck and neck. She reached the buck first and pounced taking it down in one bound. I followed for the one just behind it doing the same.

When we were finished I nodded once in her direction then padded off to a secluded area to change back into Jacob. At least, I thought it was secluded. Before I had the chance to get my shorts back on I heard a gasp behind me.

"I'm s-sorry. Dammit. I thought you meant f-follow." She stammered out. I spun around forgetting the one tiny detail and tried quickly to cover up but it was too late.

Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head as her mouth formed a little 'o'. I heard her gasp and say something but the words came out all blurry and I couldn't hear her properly. I stepped forward and she stepped back. I wasn't really sure what to do now so I stood there holding my shorts over myself trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

"Jacob you're…." She began and then stopped, biting her lip and was that…a sigh? Her eyes lingered where my hands were holding my shorts in tight fists, and then wandered back up to meet mine. There was a different look there now than I had seen before, and I couldn't place it. It made me a little uneasy the way she was looking at me as if I were her next meal, like she may devour me at any second.

She shook her head suddenly and blinked repeatedly. "Oh, God. I'm sorry Jacob. Get dressed. I'm turning around." As soon as her back was to me I jumped into my shorts, wanting this moment to me over with, but also very curious about what had just happened between the two of us, or more correctly, what had just happened with her.

"You can look now." I said with a sheepish grin. She turned back around, cheeks tinged with bright red, showing off her embarrassment. She laughed nervously then kicked a piece of dirt with her foot.

I glanced up at the sky and noticed dark clouds were definitely moving in. Alice had been right, but then again, did anybody really ever bet against her? I doubted it. I looked back at Renesmee, not wanting my day with her to end so abruptly. We had only just gotten started, still needing so much more time to talk, to laugh, to get back to what we really knew and felt comfortable with. Maybe it was even time for us to figure out where we were headed.

"Up to you Nessie home or cave?" I winked at her, knowing full well whenever we stayed out in the forest it drove her parents crazy, and since it was such a tiny space we were usually forced to sit quite intimately. It had never meant anything to us before because we had always just been close. But for some reason today, it felt like some kind of step was being taken. I wanted it, badly. While at the same time I was terrified at what this meant for everyone else in our life, and how it could all possibly end well.

"Ummm, I think cave, it's been a while since our last camp out".

We ran to our spot heading towards the cave and scrambled in to the safety of the dirt roof only seconds before the clouds opened up releasing sheets of water coming down hard enough to leave prints in the dirt. Even that canopy above us, however sparse it may have been, was no match for this rain. "Geez Alice said rain not storm." I heard Renesmee mutter under her breath.

We sat there looking out at the rain for a while, not saying a word. I saw her shiver out of the corner of my eye, so I wrapped my arm around her, brushing my finger tips against the bare skin of her arm briefly and feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I gulped, maybe a little too loud. Renesmee stiffened under me, then relaxed into my side and curled her legs up on my lap. "Hmmmm, that's better, thanks Jacob. You're always so warm." She spoke into my shirt, her eyes closed. "I could stay here forever."

"Forever's a pretty damn long time when your kind of immortal Nessie" I said chuckling at the lame joke.

Renesmee sat up and looked at me, suddenly serious with a dark look in her eye. I could see her staring at every one of my facial features, eyes lingering a few seconds before moving on to the next. She opened her mouth a couple times looking like she was about to say something, but then just closed it again.

"I love you Jacob."

I couldn't breathe. It felt like my heart was going to stop. I felt tremors rock through me and closed my eyes, counting to ten, then tewnty, then thirty before I felt myself calming down. I smiled to myself, relieved, and also feeling rather triumphant that it had taken so little effort. "HA!" I laughed out loud.

"Jacob, I just said I love you and all you can say is 'ha'?" she stared at me incredulously.

"No no that's not what I meant at all". I closed my eyes again, briefly this time, then opened them and looked back down at her.

"You already know this silly vampire girl. I love you too."

Then we were kissing. This time it wasn't only images of me that I saw, but she was there now too. She was older. She was laying in the sun as I sat beside her just watching her skin faintly glimmer like she had been sprinkled with some kind of dust. Then we were here, camping out in our cave, her laying on my chest, listening to the sound of my quiet snore and heartbeat as I slept with my arms around her. We were walking, and talking. We were sitting in the Cullens kitchen eating food she hated together or sitting around with the family just enjoying each others company, but we were always together. It was always me and her.

She pulled away from me and I knew then. I knew she had meant every word she just said. Everything I just saw was everything she had ever seen and felt reversed, as if I was feeling and seeing it exactly as she did. It was mesmerizing, seeing myself from her eyes.

Her lips came crashing down on mine again, but not as gently this time. She pushed and writhed against me needing to be closer and finding it impossible to get there. Our lips smashed together, melting into one another till they were in unison. She sighed and parted her lips, sweeping her tongue across my lower lip just like before, but nothing happened this time. I let her in, needing to taste her, wanting so much more than I knew I was capable of handling at the moment. She shifted her weight and was suddenly straddling my lap, as I felt her hands coming around my neck; ready to fist them in bunches of my hair. I reached up and grasped at her wrists gently, pulling them down into my lap, slowing the kiss before detaching my lips from hers completely. I gave her one more soft peck, then leaned my head back against the cave wall and closed my eyes, exhaling at the same time.

She seemed to understand without me having to say anything. Of course she had overheard the conversation I had with Carlisle, Edward and Bella the night before, so no explanation was necessary at this point. She lay down on top of me then wrapping her arms around my sides, and pulling up my shirt to place her hands against my bare skin. They felt cold at first, and then warmed to me.

"So…" I began, not quite sure exactly what it was I wanted to say. "I'm guessing now we don't really need to talk?"

"Mmm." Was the only response I got.

I figured for now since she didn't feel the need to push it that I wasn't going to either. This was our time now, and I was happy to just be in this moment with her. I knew now that she could be mine in all the ways I really wanted her, and I would be hers just like always. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off to sleep again, finally at ease.

********

**Ok so the Jacob/Bella scene was pretty hard for me to write, especially Jacob's part. Things will be getting worse for these two before they get better unfortunately. I do however LOVE writing about renesmee/Jacob days so you can expect a lot of these moments.  
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**thank you for reading!! comments are more than welcome :)  
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	4. Chapter 4 The One With the First Time

**A/n: Thank you to all my readers who are bearing with me. Updates are slow at times, this I know, but the story is progressing and hopefully I can get them out faster to you now that the storyline is picking up. I hope you are enjoying it.**

**Dani, I love you, that is all.**

**Girls of Twilight20Somethings, you are my constant source of inspiration. Thank you**

**now on with the show!!**

**Chapter 4 – The First Time **

I awoke in the same calm happy state as I had when I drifted off, reveling in the feeling as it cast itself over Renesmee and I like a soft warm blanket. She was still curled up on top of me, her arms wound around me in a tight bear hug trying to steal all my body heat. I could hear her soft steady breaths and feel them ripple against my shirt, and I inhaled, taking all her scent into me. I almost didn't want to open my eyes and ruin the perfect moment.

I felt her hands then. They were timid, as they crept up my shirt grasping onto my sides to warm them, gently massaging the muscles that formed the "V" into my pelvis. I kept my eyes closed and tried to keep the smile from stretching across my face and giving me away. I concentrated instead on every lingering touch that spanned itself across my torso. Her fingers gently caressed my skin, tracing circles across my abdomen, up my chest, over and around the sides of my ribcage, then back down again. She repeated the circuit a couple times before I heard her breath hitch and speed up, as did the movement.

I opened one eye and looked down at her, as the laugh that was bubbling upward stopped short at the back of my throat. She froze then, and the way she was looking at me was so foreign that for a split second I couldn't figure out how to react. Her eyes smoldered, bearing into mine and seeing right down into my soul. I had no doubt at that moment exactly what she was thinking, or what her next moves would be. And I had no intention of stopping her.

There were no words as her face came slowly toward mine, eyes never breaking their penetrating gaze. Our lips met, and nothing. There was nothing for me to see this time. No visions of her and me, or anyone else. All that was left was the feeling. The feeling of longing and lust so intense it seemed to reach on and grab hold of every cell in my body, awakening my spirit and crashing down around us until we were cloaked with it. The movements were slow and easy, but masked with an urgency I had never seen or felt from her. I fought against the voices in my head that were telling me to flip her over now and have my way with her, and I was suddenly very aware at just how badly I needed to be with her physically.

She paused then, backing up only the slightest bit. I could still feel her breath on my lips. Her eyes had still not left mine, a link between the two of us that had yet to be broken.

"I'm sorry, is this too much?" Her soft voice was barely a whisper.

"It's not enough." My own voice was rough and low in its own reply.

I couldn't handle anymore then. Grabbing her by the back of her neck and pulling her to me, our lips came together again, desperate in an attempt to get closer than was physically possible. It still somehow was not enough. She whimpered as I bit down on her bottom lip, and her hands came up behind me, tangled in my hair and pulled hard. I grunted and shifted her in my lap so I was pressing into her entrance. She bucked then and tremors rocked through me. I didn't stop. I could feel the hairs on my arms standing on end as they racked my body, running up my spine and threatening me, warning me to slow down. I couldn't make myself listen. I couldn't bring myself to pull away. Images of torn clothing and ripped flesh bore into my mind just then and I banished them at once. Not here, not now. She tried to pull away from me, no doubt trying to make sure I was ok.

"No!" I almost shouted at her, and brought her back to me once again.

She was still sitting in the most provocative position and I bucked my hips, causing her to cry out. She parted her lips and sighed as I swept my tongue across her lips and we became entangled in each other. It lasted only seconds when she broke away and started kissing along my jaw line, down my neck, across my collar bone. My head lulled back and slammed against the cave wall, my eyes squeezing shut in frustration. It wasn't enough. Why wasn't this enough? I only knew I needed more. I could feel it. The love and lust and want all fighting against one another, balling up into a massive pit in my stomach begging for just one thing to release them. I had never experienced anything like this before and didn't know how to handle it, and I was sure that if I didn't do something about it now, this very second, that they would manifest themselves in other ways and it would be far too late. I needed her, and I needed her now.

Her hands came down and fisted themselves in my shirt as she made her way back up to my mouth and started kissing me once again. Then they were down tugging at the hem of my shirt. I broke the kiss for only a second to yank my shirt over my head, tossing it away from us. I didn't see where it landed and I didn't care. She pulled her own shirt off over her head, and I paused, my hands frozen in mid air on their way to grab hold of her waist. I couldn't help but stare at her, sitting there in front of me in only her bra looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her. Her skin was pale and soft, glistening the slightest bit under the sun beams that made their way through the cave entrance. I closed my eyes, and then opened them again. She was still there, not a dream this time, and looking at me with a puzzled expression.

"I'm sorry Nessie, I didn't mean to stare. You're just so beautiful." I choked. I barely even got the words out and wasn't too sure if they even sounded like English. "I love you."

"I love you too Jacob. My Jacob."

It was all I needed. She drew closer to me once again, as her hands ran themselves over my body greedily. It was as if she could leave no inch of my skin untouched, needing to soak up every mark, every scar. My hands went to her back and unclasped her bra letting it fall between us as I bent my head down and took one of her peaks in my mouth. Her back arched and she fisted my hair pulling harder than last time. It hurt but was pleasurable all at the same time. I had never known what that could mean up until this moment. I let go and moved to the other one, taking it in my mouth, swirling my tongue against the tip just as I had the last time. She cried out my name shifting in my lap once again. I grunted and let go, throwing her off me and scrambling to get my damned shorts off. They were growing tighter by the second and rather uncomfortable as a result.

Her hands reached out to help when she realized what I was doing. She grasped the waistband and pulled, not realizing her own strength in the moment, and throwing me back hard against the cave wall as my shorts were yanked from under me. I heard a crunching sound from somewhere in my spine and ignored it. I notice then that her pants had already been thrown across the ground where mine were and she was naked in front of me.

"Nessie, were you wearing underwear?" I asked her as my eyebrow rose in question.

She blushed at me, biting on the corner of her lip and shook her head no.

I was speechless, as my breath caught once more. I grunted and lunged at her, knocking her to her back, kissing her wildly as I leaned on my arms for support. I knew full well she could never be crushed under my weight, but I wanted to leave space between us for my hands to wander. I leaned on my left arm as my right hand traveled across her body, exploring the space I had been longing to feel since the night I realized I was in love with her.

I palmed her breast and she bit down hard on my shoulder. I smiled and catalogued that move away in my brain. I would have to remember these reactions for future reference. My hand drifted over to the other one, mimicking the actions I had just performed. I held my breath as my resistance faltered, wanting to ravage her that second, and knowing that we both needed it to go slow this time. My hand ghosted along her stomach, relishing in the softness that was there. In my head I was secretly saying a silent prayer to the gods that she wasn't a full vampire and I didn't have to make love to a granite stone. My hand moved down toward her center, slowly stroking at the moisture that was building there.

Renesmee gasped and her mouth opened but no sound came out as her eyes drifted toward mine. I leaned down as kissed her softly and passionately, throwing every emotion into it, while her hips began moving in rhythm with my hand strokes. My knuckle grazed the most sensitive spot and she tensed, closing her eyes. I knew she was close then as I quickened the pace before delving two fingers into her, finding the place I knew would bring her the most bliss and pressing my fingers upward into it. Her eyes flashed open to mine and she exhaled the breath she seemed to be holding. I kept the movement steady when suddenly her hands moved up to my arms and locked in place. Her back arched off the ground and her entire body tensed and quaked for what seemed like an eternity before she relaxed into a pool beneath me. She stared up at me, eyes glazed over with lust and want. She smiled before biting her lip and looking away as if embarrassed.

I cupped her chin and pulled her face toward me, leaning down and taking her bottom lip with mine. "I'm not done with you just yet" I whispered down into her ear, before gently biting down on the side of her neck. After giving Renesmee an orgasm like that I was almost ready to call it quits, being completely satisfied with the look on her face right then. If it hadn't been for that ball still fighting within me I wouldn't have needed to go on at all. But I did. I ached to show her exactly what I was feeling in every single way, physically and emotionally. I didn't have the gifts that she did and I didn't know how else to convey the turmoil I felt with every waking moment. I loved her to the point that it nearly burned me alive not being able to be with her. I wanted her to understand just how strong the bond was that forged between us. I had no other options. It scared me to death to think that sometimes she did. She could, if she really wanted to, and I couldn't. Every thought about her I had ever had started to surface and they swam about me menacingly, threatening to immobilize me. I grabbed onto the bad ones as if they were palpable and buried them under the ball of emotion that was wreaking havoc on my insides. I kept only the good thoughts.

"Jacob, where have you gone?" I heard the small voice cry from under me as her hand came up to cup my cheek. Tears spilled from my eyes unwillingly and fell to her. She brushed them away with her index finger then brought it to her lips, literally kissing my tears away.

Renesmee sat up and rolled me onto my back straddling me in the process. Leaning down she placed a gentle kiss on my lips and whispered into my ear "Don't cry my Jacob. I am here. I will always be here, I am yours."

As she spoke those words, she sank down, easing every fear I had and satisfying every thought, need, or want that ever existed. She moved achingly slow while my hands roamed about her body. They caressed every curve, dent or crease, learning the map of her skin. Rocking and swaying she looked down into my eyes and visions of my face filled my mind. I saw my eyes, heavy with passion and lust, and I knew she understood. My Nessie was showing me everything she saw when she looked at me in these moments, letting me know that she felt it too. I felt myself building, climbing high towards a release and the visions stopped. I leaned up as she kept rocking and kissed her again, her hands snaking around my neck, drawing circles over the sensitive skin and raking through my hair. I grabbed her hips and shoved her down as I released, seeing stars and feeling the ball of emotion shatter. She came then too , shuddering around me sending us both into orbit. My heart raced and my skin flushed, and I buried my head in the crook of her neck, letting her soft curls fall all around me.

Renesmee's hands pressed themselves against my back and she hugged me to her tight. We sat there, breathing together, feeling together, and melting into one another as a single unit. Renesmee was right. She was mine now, and I was hers. It was always written before that this was the way it ought to be, but now it was set in stone. A realization dawned on me then and I knew if I was ever separated from this girl, I would surely die.

***

_Renesmee POV_

I had no idea where his mind had drifted off to now, but the look on his face wasn't hiding anything. Always so serious, so deep in thought. His mouth wasn't curved into his usual Jacob smile, and his eyes were beginning to water. Was he having second thoughts? Is it possible that this imprinting thing only brought him so far? I called out to him to ring him back to me.

"Jacob, where have you gone?"

He looked back at me, startled almost. I felt useless right then. How was I supposed to fix what I couldn't understand? And why could he never just let me all the way in? I had to put my brain to rest for the moment and focus on him. It was my turn to show him exactly how I felt. How I had felt for so long and fought so hard against till it became utterly hopeless. I had given in, body and soul. I just didn't understand how he could not see it, or feel it. I rolled him onto his back, straddling him, uttering sweet words into his ear praying that he would finally comprehend.

He filled me completely, as I closed my eyes and moaned aloud in spite of myself. I opened them after a moment reminding myself that Jacob was my focus now. I stared down at him, watching his hands roam over every curve of my body, and leaving a trail of electricity over every inch of skin that he touched. I showed him then what I had been seeing this whole time. Looking into his eyes I filled his head with visions, all with one thing in common: him. If this is what he needed me to do to show him that I belonged to him and him alone, then this is what I would do.

I rode on and felt that excitement begin to build again. It started down in my toes and slowly moved up my body, inch by inch, lighting every single cell on fire along the way. Before the feeling nearly consumed me, I felt him shudder and release beneath me, and I let go too.

We sat there holding each other for what felt like an eternity. I saw his eyes close, and waited till his breathing became deep and even before I moved. I grabbed our clothes quickly before he fell and bundled his shirt placing it under his head as a pillow. I then dressed myself, and pulled his shorts back on, wondering if that crunch I heard in his back had healed just yet. I hadn't meant to throw him that hard into the cave wall; these feelings were all just so new and foreign to me that I wasn't always sure how to react, and most of the time they got the better of me.

Gazing out the cave entrance I noticed and orange yellow glow fading to the night. Shit. How long had we been here? Since yesterday? Mom and dad were surely not going to take this well. I had ventured off before with Jacob when I was younger on various hunting trips, and even slept here overnight, but all of that was before we were…intimate. Those were the days when mom and dad felt I was safe with him, and that they could trust him with my care. I still don't understand how one moment changed a whole lifetime. I sighed.

Mom was going to be pissed I knew that one for sure. Dad on the other hand, well he seemed more sympathetic for some reason which I still couldn't put my finger on. He had always been the really protective one over both me and mom and now suddenly it was as if they had switched roles. Did he maybe know more about Jacob than he let on? Perhaps he knew more than mom even and with this knowledge grew to understand our situation more? But that couldn't be because surely whatever he knew he would share with mom, as he never kept anything from her. I wondered what it could possibly be then, and if I would ever be able to figure it out. I guess it made sense that the more levelheaded one out of the two would be more sympathetic. Mom had a habit of flying off the handle every now and then, and she was a lot more excitable than dad ever was. I was told it had been even worse when she was human, letting her emotions rule her every action. Even now I couldn't ever imagine being like that, and I sure couldn't imagine ever being in this situation if she hadn't have become a vampire, and was still ruled by those emotions.

I nudged Jacob's side and he rolled over to face me. I smiled in spite of myself and stared at him a while before nudging him again. Sometimes I just really couldn't help but stare at him, as far as luck went, I'd hit the jackpot with this one. Every line of his perfectly sculpted body begged for me to run my fingers across it. His dark brown skin and long, soft hair were like... well what was the opposite of kryptonite? Because that's the exact effect they had on me, not driving me away, but pulling me in. There was not one part of him I didn't find beautiful. From his dazzling smile, to his deep curious eyes, even his lips seemed to call out to me. It was bewildering that he ever even considered I could be with anyone else. I never stood a chance against him, and to top it all off, he was my very best friend. He was the only boy I ever really knew and trusted outside of my own family. How on earth could I not fall in love with him? Sometimes he could be so irrational.

I nudged him one more time and he swatted my hand away, then opened his eyes and blinked furiously; shoving his fists into them before he could focus and realize it was me.

"Hi" I whispered. "I love you."

The big Jacob grin that I always loved spread wide across his face and wrapped itself around my heart.

"Hey" he said his voice still rough and raspy. "Love you too." I had to fight myself not to clamber on top of him again.

"Jacob, it's starting to get dark outside. We've been gone since yesterday morning. Mom is probably about to send reinforcements after us"

"Nah, I'll bet anything Alice is covering for us. You are right though, we should head back."

He sat up and threw his shirt on, which I hate to admit, I was sad to see him do. Reaching for my hand, he pulled me up into him, and my hand reflexively splayed out across his chest. He leaned down and planted a soft warm kiss on my lips that was over far too soon. Even the simple act of kissing him sent heat all the way through me and down into my toes. I could feel them curling into themselves in the confinement of my shoes, and it made me giggle.

"Something funny?" he crooked an eyebrow at me.

"Nothing at all, Jacob Black." I was playing coy now. "My Jacob" I whispered.

"Careful there, Nessie. Don't have time for those games right now."

We both laughed then, as he grabbed onto my hand and we took off running. I knew sometimes he slowed himself up worrying about whether I could keep up with him or not and it kind of bothered me. I was just as fast as he was if not faster, especially when he was in his human form. I didn't want to say anything about it now though, as something told me that a storm was brewing, and it wasn't in the skies.

I didn't want to reach home just yet, so I stopped in the middle of the field between the woods and our house. Jacob turned instinctively to me his face awash with concern.

"I just don't want to go in yet. It's not going to be good Jacob. Stand here with me just a minute?"

He didn't say anything in response but walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms, holding me there and keeping me grounded. It was amazing to me how much could change in just a few short days. Before I had kissed him that first time, we were never like this with each other. We hugged, and I sat in his lap every so often, but we never thought anything of it. It was always just something that came naturally to us, but more of a buddy thing. Now it seemed every moment between us held a spark with an electric current.

I saw something moving in the living room through the oversized window and decided we should probably hurry. Whatever or whoever that was, I didn't like the look of it. I wasn't very fond of the raised voices I could hear now that were coming from inside the house. It was worse than I thought. I braced myself for whatever fury was waiting for us inside.

********

**Hope you enjoyed my first ever lemon!! but the calm happy after-glow won't last too long, trouble is definitely brewing in the Cullen house. Battles of an epic proportion coming up next...**

**Reviews make me write faster. :)**

**Until next time,**

**Joy :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5 The One With The Fight

**DISCLAIMER: I should probably mention that Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Plot and extra characters however (they will be appearing soon) are all mine.**

**A/n : Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter. Reviews are love! (even the bad ones). This chapter was difficult for me to write, and as a result it took longer and is a bit shorter than the others. We'll be getting into the heart of the climax within the next few chapters.**

**Dani - as always, thank you for the love and kind words and awesome beta skillz! (yeah I spelt that with a Z, because the girl is that cool)**

**My girls at [t20s] - I heart you mad every day for being my inspiration and keeping me going with this. You don't know how much you all mean to me.**

**Take a deep breath now, this one is a bumpy ride...**

**Chapter 5 - The Fight**

***

Bella's POV

I stood in the living room, watching them, judging them. They weren't talking, but just standing there, holding each other. Much like Edward and I had so many times when either one of us had needed the comfort. I was beyond furious this time. I recalled the last time I had been this mad, when I felt that I very well could have torn Jacob apart, piece by piece. The image of the memory had been blurred by my fury at the time, but I was feeling that again, in this moment. If it wasn't enough that he had imprinted on my daughter the moment she was born, now he had really and truly taken a piece of her that she could never have back. A part of me had always seen this coming, and I thought that if I had all those years of preparation that I would have handled it better. I was a far cry from 'handling' anything right now. Maybe I could handle Jacob's face.

Alice bounded into the room just then, and stood facing me and Edward with her hands on her hips. He was standing close, but not right beside me, as he knew better than that right now. Everyone was keeping a pretty good distance.

"Edward, calm your woman down. It won't help the situation at all if she kills Jacob."

He nodded and Edward's hand reached out towards me but I pulled my arm away hastily. I scowled in her direction and opened my mouth to respond but she shushed me.

"Look Bella, I understand this is hard for you, but whether you like it or not Renesmee loves him. You saw how Quil was with Claire, and how Jacob was with Nessie as she was growing. Was there ever any part of you that doubted this day was going to come?" she questioned me.

"No, I really didn't. That's why I've been mad at Jacob for the past twenty years! It's also why I can never look him in the eye, or watch him play with Renesmee. I lost my best friend when all that imprinting stuff happened and don't you dare stand there and think I don't feel bad about it! But c'mon! Please be reasonable. He's twenty years older than her. Wolf boy or not, it's gross and it creeps me out!" I knew I was pouting like a little girl and I didn't care.

Everyone was in the room now, and they were all staring at me like they had just realized now how much this whole situation angered me. I didn't think it was news at all, and yet somehow Esme stood there looking shocked, and Carlisle was…shaking his head at me?

"Spit it out Carlisle!" I yelled. He flinched at my words.

Edward grabbed my arm and spun me to face him. His voice was low and fast in my ear.

"I understand this is hard for you, but yelling at us will not help. Alice is trying to prevent you from killing Jacob, and hurting Renesmee, possibly causing her to hate you. Carlisle doesn't deserve that at all, and you know it. Tell me something, Bella; How would you have reacted if Charlie had found a way to kill me? What would you have done if he had found a way to keep me away from you?" He raised his eyebrows at the end of his question, daring me to answer him and face my own wicked demons at the same time.

"Edward that's not fair! It's not the same thing!" I wailed. "How could you possibly even compare the two? Nessie never even had a choice! Don't you see? Jacob and his wretched imprinting stole her from the very moment he laid eyes on her. She wouldn't have ever been able to fight it. Jacob said so himself when he explained imprinting to me. You can't fight that kind of devotion. HE STOLE HER FROM ME!"

"Oh? And how is that any different from what you and I put Charlie through? You may like to think so, but you never had a choice either, Bella. Not really. After I came back, I had made the decision not to ever live without you. I would have done anything for you to forgive me then. From the very beginning, you and I were always meant to be. Jacob didn't steal her. You can see the love she has for us pouring out of her plain as day. She just has more of it now, for him. If Charlie had forbid you to ever see me, sent you away, or locked you up, you would have hated him forever. Are you really willing to lose your daughter over this?"

"No!" I shouted. Jasper was there then, standing right beside Alice and looking at me intently. "Jasper don't even think about it!" my teeth were gritted and I moved to lunge towards him. Edward's arms caught me and wrapped around my waist.

"Edward" Alice's voice cut in. It was shaky and uneven. "She's really going to hurt someone. You need to get her out of here. Jacob's going to drag Nessie in here any minute."

"I know." He replied. Edward looked out the back door then and he sighed. "Bella, they just want to be happy. I don't agree with it either, but who are we to fight love?"

"LOVE?" I screeched. My eyes grew wide and wild as I searched the room looking for something, or rather someone, to dispute this. Though in the back of my mind I knew it had already happened. Not only was Jacob in love with my Renesmee, but she was in love with him now, too. The rest of my family stood there gawking at me with their golden eyes, trying to anticipate my next move.

Jasper's eyes narrowed in my direction and I thought maybe he was about to grab Alice and remove her from the room when a sudden wave of calm crashed over me. It dragged me under and lulled me back into normality until I was tucked into Edward's side, his arm wrapped around me holding me tight to him, as if he was afraid I was going somewhere.

"Thank you Jasper." Edward nodded in his brother's direction, then leaned down to whisper in my ear some more.

"They're coming in now. Jacob's uneasy and thinking of very peculiar things. Seth? Now he's thinking of Billy, laughing clowns, running through the forest, and Rosalie in a dog collar."

I had to stifle a laugh. Rosalie snarled. Emmett grabbed her and pulled her to sit beside him. "Edward, do you have any idea why he is thinking of such peculiar things?" I asked, craning my neck to look up at his face so I could see his expression.

His jaw flexed minutely. "No idea, darling. Renesmee seems to be joining in on the fun. She's doing the same thing Jacob is. Piano lessons, Alice's closet, Emmett fixing her car, the foul taste of the bacon she was forced to eat yesterday morning."

My brow furrowed as I tried to figure out exactly what they were trying to do by avoiding Edward. "They're not planning anything right now" he whispered back reading my face as I pondered. "They're hiding something from me, from all of us. I've never seen Jacob's mind run so fast, he's going out of his way, and it's difficult for him."

"Oh!" Alice's voice shrieked and her right hand clamped over her mouth as her left drifted to find Jaspers. She turned to look at me a horrified expression on her face. "Bella, Jacob's going to ask you for permission now to be with Ness- I mean Renesmee. If you would so kindly try to keep yourself calm for this conversation, I promise you won't like the results if you don't"

"Alice! How on earth can you say something like that and expect me to-"

"Shhh now, love. Everything will be ok I promise." Edward's voice, like velvet, was trying to calm me and I hated to admit that it was working. If only minutely.

Jacob and Renesmee showed up not less than a minute later, him leading her by the hand and sauntering through the door as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I wanted to give them a chance to speak, to tell their side and do whatever it was they needed us all here for (at least that part Jacob had communicated to Edward earlier). When I saw him, though, holding her hand like that, something inside me snapped and I couldn't make myself wait.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing you filthy stinking mongrel!" I snapped at him. He flinched. Renesmee's eyes grew wide as saucers and her mouth dropped into an "o" shape as she gaped at me. "I trusted you with her…her life! And this is how you treat her? Trailing off into the woods and taking advantage of her? I should rip you apart limb from limb right here you foul, perverted..."

"Mother, stop!" Renesmee's hand came out in front of her, her palm facing me as if she were directing traffic. "I understand you are angry." Her eyes shifted from me to Edward then back again. "But I cannot let you speak to him that way. He didn't take advantage of me. Jacob has been nothing but sweet, and honest, and loyal. He would never hurt me and you know that. I haven't done anything with him that I didn't want to do." She paused then and broke eye contact to look up at him as she beamed. "I love him".

I gaped. I wasn't expecting this. Jacob I could be mad at, and I was. But how could I be mad at Renesmee? That was a different story. I took a deep breath and surveyed all the eyes in the room that were upon me.

"Renesmee, I understand you think you love him, but that's not real love. You only think these things because he is all you've known your whole life. Maybe if you got out there and met someone else you would see different."

"Meet someone else how mom? Like how you and daddy met and then have whoever this guy is put in danger like you were? I'm not full but I'm still at least half a vampire! Or did you forget that? My best friend is a wolf who has no choice but to follow me around and the rest of my family, including dear old mom and dad are FULL vampires. Not a whole lot of options for me there. Here is a man who I know, and trust, and who treats me well. How could you forget that he was YOUR best friend once? You fell in love with him all those years ago, so I can't understand why he isn't good enough for me now?"

She had me cornered. I wasn't about to back down but I couldn't figure out what to say. So I turned towards Jacob. "She's right; I did love you once, but not enough. Is that what this is all about? Some kind of shady wolf boy revenge?"

Edward's snarl ripped through the room then and Jacob yelped. It all happened too fast for anyone to catch on till it was too late. Jacob was sprawled out on the now cracked ceramic tile of the kitchen floor.

"Edward!" I cried and was standing by him in a flash, but not before Jasper and Emmett could get a hold of him and yank him backwards off of Jacob. He was still snarling. I looked at Jacob and he stood up, brushing off his arms and sneering at both me and Edward.

"Don't like those thoughts do you Edward? Care to share with the rest of your family?"

"No I don't" He snarled low through his teeth.

Jacob closed his eyes and all I could do was watch as he stood there smiling and Jasper and Emmett fought to keep Edward from ripping him apart.

"Jacob stop it now!" Renesmee reached for him. "We promised we wouldn't do it this way, you're making it worse."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Seems to me Nessie, they were never going to give us a choice. Not Bella anyways, and Edward is so whipped he'll do anything your mom says, you know that. I just decided to show them what they've been trying to avoid thinking about. We're going to be together whether they like it or not. It can't be any other way for me and you, and there's nothing they can do to stop us."

"Like hell." Edward replied.

Jacob laughed. Edward shot forward causing Emmett and Jasper to lose their grip on him. His arms shot out and grabbed Jacob by the neck, he was about to lift him off the ground when Carlisle stepped in and put his hand on his arm.

"Now now, son. Let's not let things get out of control. I believe they came here to have a conversation, not start a fight."

Edward looked at his father and released his hand from Jacob's neck.

Jacob grabbed on to the spot Edward had just released and snickered "Temper, temper Edward. Here I thought you were on our side."

"I am, or at least I was. It's very difficult to focus on trying to convince my wife to not kill you when you keep giving me reasons to do it myself" he responded.

"What exactly is he thinking about right now Edward?" I asked.

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Jacob, please stop. You're making it worse. I don't want to fight really I don't. We can make them understand. They all found love, and are happier for it. If we can get them to see us happy we can have a chance. Pissing them off isn't going to help us." Renesmee was pleading with him now.

"So you say you love her and would do anything for her?" I challenged him. "What about right now? Look at the girl you say you love so much. You're hurting her, Jacob. Even more proof that I need to keep you away from her." I was about to hit below the belt and I didn't care. "You can't help but hurt the people you love. You do it all the time without even realizing it. You did it with me, with Billy, with Seth and Leah. You're a selfish, cowardly dog who can only think about himself, even after imprinting." I laughed out loud in spite of myself. "Even something that comes so naturally to you, you manage to screw up. How on earth can you be trusted with her now? The one person you're supposed to care for more than anything in this world, and still in this moment you can't see past your own agenda. You stupid dog, don't you see? You'll never change."

Every pair of eyes in the room was on me now, all looking with disgust. I realized then what I had just done but I wasn't willing to take it back. I stood with my arms folded across my chest as Edward backed away from me slowly shaking his head. Even he was judging me.

Jacob's head was bowed, as he stood there silently, not moving, not speaking. Renesmee clung to his side her head buried against his shoulder heaving as she squeezed her eyes shut tight trying to force the tears to stay inside.

"Bella." A word was spoken through the unbearable silence. "I think maybe you should go now Bella." It was Esme. I felt her hand on my arm as she tried to steer me out of this room, out of the anguish I had just wreaked upon everyone.

"I'm sorry Esme but I cannot go anywhere. Not until this monster is out of our sight, and out of our lives."

His head shot up then. It seemed I had finally gotten his attention. But he wasn't sad, or upset at the order. He was grinning at me. Not the usual Jacob grin I had loved so long ago, but more like a sneer. I wondered what he was so happy about. I had just ordered him out of our lives?

"Jacob, no…" Alice's voice was barely audible.

"Careful there, Bells. You might want to rethink what you're telling me to do." He half snarled half spat at me.

"No Jacob, I'm pretty sure I know exactly where you belong, and it's not here with us. Not anymore."

"If that's the way you want it, you got it." He answered.

Something wasn't right. He couldn't possibly have just given in like that.

"Bella, you're making a mistake." Edward whispered into my ear. "Don't do this, not tonight. You don't mean it. I promise you that you don't mean this. Don't do something you are going to regret."

"What's to regret? Mutt gone, problem solved." I snapped my fingers.

Jacob took a minute looking around the room at all of us. He nodded in Carlisle and Esme's direction, laughed towards Rosalie and Emmett, and stopped when he reached Alice. "I'll be seeing you shorty." he said to her.

"I hope so Jacob. Please take care of her." She replied.

That stopped me up short. "Alice, what do you mean-"

"That's what I was trying to tell you Bella." Edward's voice again. "You know the pull that exists between a wolf and the one he imprints on. He cannot and will not ever be without her. If you choose to send him away, you're sending her away too."

I found it funny how eerily calm the room was right now in spite of what was happening, and glanced sideways at Jasper for a second. Of course he was controlling everything.

Edward stepped forward to hug Jacob while I stood there, stunned. "You can't be serious Edward! You can't possibly be taking his side over mine!"

Jacob glared at me over Edward's shoulder. When Edward let go he turned to face me. "You didn't leave me much of a choice Bella. You made the decision all by yourself that he was no longer welcome here. I cannot send my daughter away with someone without wishing them well. I do not like it, but we need to trust in him if this is the way it's going to be." He looked back at Jacob, then down at Renesmee. "I love you both, please take care."

"No!" I shouted. "Renesmee you aren't going anywhere!"

She didn't say anything, but looked at me with tears in her eyes. "I love you mom, but I love him too. He is where I belong."

Before I could respond again they were gone. I blinked, and they were still gone.

I hung my head in shame not quite knowing how to react. Had that really just happened? Had I sent him away and in turn banished my own daughter as well? I was confused and furious all at the same time. I felt his arms around me then.

"Bella, love. They will be safe I promise. He is going to take good care of her you'll see. I trust him. You wanted him gone, and so he is. They will be back one day. Jacob promised me."

"But…I…" I stammered. I had nothing to say.

I looked around at the faces all looking in my direction. Even Rosalie, who should be celebrating something like this happening, seemed upset with me. One by one they all filed out of the room, brushing past me, until it was just Edward and me.

He dragged me toward the living room and pulled me down into his lap, even though we didn't have the need to sit at all.

"Trust me when I tell you that it will all work out. You need time to adjust to this more than the rest of us, that's why they left. Do you really think I would just let them go not knowing if they would be safe? Or if they would come back?"

"No." I heard the reply. My voice didn't match at all.

We sat there for what seemed like hours and didn't move again until the sun was rising. I was tempted to stay there until she came home again, no matter how long it took.

"Edward." I whispered.

"Yes Bella?"

"Why didn't you tell me that Vampires hearts could break?"

******

**Please don't hate Bella! Yes I realize she's a bitch in this chapter. She's actually a bitch throughout most of this story. But understand where she is coming from. Not too sure you'd be happy with your daughter dating someone YOUR age would you? She really is trying to accept it. Be patient with her. **

**Also, reviews make me update faster, seeing as I only got 2 last month, let's try and aim for 4? :)**

**Till next time,**

**Joy  
**


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